Posts Tagged ‘ Love ’

Panic! at the Disco – The Calendar

after listening to this song for about 10 or so times, it’s only now that I got to appreciate the song. Of course, it’s also thanks to Kimi Wa Pet for letting me understand a lot of things today. :)) although i’m not really sure what it means, the lyrics sort of tell me that it’s all about loyalty and patience. 🙂

// whoa, i just gave too much credit on a manga i’m currently reading, and i’m not even halfway through! 🙂

// anyway, enjoy! 🙂

They said if you don’t let it out
You’re gunna let it eat you away
I’d rather be a cannibal baby
Animals like me don’t talk anyway
Feel like an ambulance
Chaser of faith
Pray I could replace
her forget the way her tears taste
Oh the way her tears taste

Put another ex on the calendar
Summer’s on its deathbed
There is simply nothing worse
Than knowing how it ends
And I meant everything I said that night
I will come back to life
But only for you, only for you

Well we may call it a second chance
But when I came back it was more of a relapse
Anticipation’s on the other line
And obsession called while you were out
Yeah it called while you were out

Put another ex on the calendar
Summer’s on its deathbed
There is simply nothing worse
Than knowing how it ends
And I meant everything I said that night
I will come back to life
But only for you, only for you

Asleep in the hive
I guess all the buzzing got to me
Well, I’m still alive
At night your body is a symphony
And I’m conducting you

They said if you don’t let it out
You’re gunna let it eat you away

Put another ex on the calendar
Summer’s on its deathbed
There is simply nothing worse
Than knowing how it ends
And I meant everything I said that night
I will come back to life
But only for you, only for you
Only for you, only for you

2011
04/15
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love songs and love stories. || Panic at the Disco – Always

honestly, it has been sometime before i shed a tear about love. i watch and read a lot of love stories in the past few months of being single, but it’s only now that i felt lonely (for a short while).

The combination of Kimi wa Pet chapter 26 and Panic at the Disco‘s Always and The Calendar is bound to recall all my insecurities. What I love about this manga is that the female lead character is my ideal self. Although she lacks social skills and some honesty in herself, I am no different from her. She finds satisfaction in a guy she adopted as a ‘pet’, and this guy practically takes care of her emotionally and psychologically (not that she’s psychologically disturbed) while she takes care of him with regards to physiological needs. I can’t help but think that I mind end up being like her. I MIGHT END UP LOVING SOMEONE UNEXPECTED.

and it scares me. I don’t do random and spontaneous. I do schedules and planning and calculation. I don’t deal with unexpected because i do my best to see every fault that might happen. 

When the world gets too heavy,
Put it on my back
I’ll be your levy
You are taking me apart
Like bad glue on a get well card

It was always you falling for me
Now there’s always time calling for me
I’m the light blinking at the end of the road
Blink back to let me know

I’m a fly that’s trapped in a web
But I’m thinking that, my spiders dead
Lonely, lonely little life
I could kid myself in thinking that I’m fine

It was always you falling for me
Now there’s always time calling for me
I’m the light blinking at the end of the road

Blink back to let me know

That I’m skin and bone
Just a king and rusty throne
Oh the castle’s under siege,
But the sign outside says “leave me alone”

It was always you falling for me
Now there’s always time calling for me
I’m the light blinking at the end of the road
Blink back to let me know

It was always you
Blink back to let me know
It was always you

2011
04/15
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UVERworld – MONDO PIECE [video and lyrics]

 

Hitsuyōna mono wa zenbu koko ni aru
Aitsu-ra ni ubawa reta hōmotsu wa
Nagutte torikaeshi tatte yokattakedo
Kono te ni amaru mono wa oikakenai shugi sa

Otona ni natte kin mo te ni shite kara wa
Hoshii mono wa tayasuku te ni hairu
Kodomo-goro sore o shiawase to utagawanakatta
Tonda machigaedatta na

Sore wa shippai suru to kashō suru yo to
Iwa rete mo pin toko naikara
Hontōni atsui ka dō ka tashikameru shugina nda
Tadashii koto ga shiawase to kagiranaidesho

Takusan no machigai o shite oroka demo junsui ni
Gokai sa reta tte rikai no himo o toite ikou
Dō shita tte shiawase sugiruto
Boku-tachi wa nani mo nokosenai

Tashikameta kashō no itami mo taisetsu ni shinakucha na
Wakari aeru koto no hō ga sukunaikara
Bokura wa sayonara o iwa reru kamo na
Demo ne sō omotta nonara sore ga ii nda yo

Kimi ga eranda michi ga naniyori taisetsu-sa
Soreni moshimo kimi ga modotte kite kuretara
Mō boku-tachi wa hanare tari shinaidarou
Sore datte hontōni sutekina koto sa

Me no mae no genjitsu wa kono sora no yō ni hiroku
Kagirinai kanō-sei ga bokura o matsu yo
Korekara hanasu koto wa
Betsuni kanashii hanashi janai nda yo
Kon’nanimo mi kare atte issho ni iru boku-tachi ga

10-Nen-go ni barabaradatta toshite mo
Shinjita michi o susumeta nonara
Doko ni ite mo don’na jōtai de mo
Waratte i rareru ki ga suru nda

Sore de koso jinsei ga kagayaku Ikutsu datte kanjusei wa fuantei
Hito ni iezu sutoresu butsuke rareru yuiitsu
MUSICnara hon’ne ga ieru
Sore wa machigainaide mo

Kanjin’na toki kakkō tsukete yowane ni omowa reru no mo iyade
Iwazu ni ita kokoro no okusoko no hō ni aru
Kotoba datte hon’nena nda
Taisetsuna mono ga hanareru mae ni itte oku yo

Hontōwa 10-nen-saki 20-nen datte Issho ni itai sō nega teru nda yo
Zenbu kowareta tte issho ni irunara
Tsukuri naoseru kitto nan-do demo
Jibun o shinji rarenaku natta hi wa atta demo

Kono nakama o shinji renaku natta hi wa nakatta
Kotoba ni suruto chotto hazukashiikedo
Hontōni deaete yokatta to omo teru yo

 

// my favorite japanese rock band with their latest (18th) single, MONDO PIECE.
2011
04/13
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“Regret” by Mai Hoshimura

I just realized that I still love this particular person, after weeks of separating with him. Now, I have this struggle within me that pushes me to decide on what kind of life I would live with him, since I chose that I would still stay by his side as a friend (and nothing more). My mind and heart gave me two options: to continue loving him, but would keep it hidden; OR suppress the emotional attachment into something suitable for being friends, and just stay friends forevermore.

 

I have to admit choosing tortures me. But last monday (yes, valentines day), i have decided to suppress what I feel and just be friends. Just when things started to brigthen up.. I heard this song, and it made me realize that I am not the only one who feels so.. hurt and confused after being left behind. I was able to relate, and I was really glad that I there is someone out there who feels that same way that I am. Truly, misery loves company.

 

Kanji

窓の外の景色　移り変わって
季節までがあたしを置いてく
誰より近くにいて　不安の種に
どうしてあのとき気づけなかった？
あなたの姿が見えなくなる前に
たったのたった一言
「行かないで」が言えなかった

あなたが幸せならそれで
いいなんて絶対に言えない
ねじ曲がったこんな心が
どうしようもないくらいあたしは嫌い

誕生日にもらった　イニシャルリング
思い出せば辛いだけなのに
今更分かったのは　思う以上に
あなたを必要としてたこと
二人で築いた時間さえ壊すように
心と裏腹に出てきた言葉
味気ないサヨナラ

あなたがすごく後悔する
そんな日が来ること望んでる
意地悪で醜い心が
昨日よりももっとあたしは嫌い

あなたが幸せならそれで
いいなんて絶対に言えない
ねじ曲がったこんな心が
どうしようもないくらいあたしは嫌い

あなたがすごく後悔する
そんな日が来ること望んでる
意地悪で醜い心が
昨日よりももっとあたしは嫌い

Romanji

mado no soto no keshiki utsurikawatte
kisetsu made ga atashi wo oiteku
dare yori chikaku ni ite fuan no tane ni
doushite ano toki kizukenakatta?

anata no sugata ga mienaku naru mae ni
tatta no tatta hitokoto “ikanaide” ga ienakatta

anata ga shiawase nara sore de ii nante zettai ni ienai
nejimagatta konna kokoro ga doushiyoumonai kurai atashi wa kirai

tanjoubi ni moratta inisharu ringu
omoidaseba tsurai dake na no ni
imasara wakatta no wa omou ijou ni
anata wo hitsuyou toshiteta koto

futari de kizuita jikan sae kowasu youni
kokoro to urahara ni dete kita kotoba ajikeenai sayonara

anata ga sugoku koukai suru sonna hi ga kuru koto nozonderu
ijiwaru de minikui kokoro ga kinou yori mo motto atashi wa kirai

anata ga shiawase nara sore de ii nante zettai ni ienai
nejimagatta konna kokoro ga doushiyoumonai kurai atashi wa kirai
anata ga sugoku koukai suru sonna hi ga kuru koto nozonderu
ijiwaru de minikui kokoro ga kinou yori mo motto atashi wa kirai

English

The scenery outside the window changes
Even the season leaves me behind
Being closer than anyone, why didn’t I realize
That seed of worries at that time?

Before I’m unable to see your figure
I couldn’t say just that, just that one phrase of “don’t go”

I can never say that it’s fine as long as you’re happy
I can’t help but to hate this twisted heart

The initial ring I received on my birthday
Remembering only makes me painful but
What I finally realized is that I relied
On you more than I thought

As if to even destroy the times spent together
The words that came out contrary to my heart was a good-bye in vain

I’m wishing that a day when you’ll greatly regret will come
I hate this mean and ugly heart more than yesterday

I can never say that it’s fine as long as you’re happy
I can’t help but to hate this twisted heart
I’m wishing that a day when you’ll greatly regret will come
I hate this mean and ugly heart more than yesterday

2011
02/15
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brushing your teeth.

I always believed that the first child that I would be teaching how to brush his/ her teeth would be my child. Apparently, I was wrong.

Teeth

It was only this afternoon that I taught a child how to brush her teeth. I wasn’t as confident and as prepared as I thought I would be.

Looking back, I remember seeing her so shy and timid about brushing her teeth. When I asked her why won’t she start brushing, she softly whispered to me that she doesn’t know how. I was awed. A six-year-old beautiful girl doesn’t know how to brush her teeth? I took a deep breath and taught her as much as I can remember in the demo video the dentist presented earlier. I tried helping her verbally at first, but when I saw that she was not applying any pressure on her toothbrush, I took it and taught her the proper way how to.

It was heartbreaking to see that a girl so beautiful (oh yes, she is beautiful) not knowing how to brush her teeth. No wonder she is so timid and shy, she probably does not have any confidence. I remember when I asked her to open her mouth so that I could brush her teeth, I saw the effects of not brushing your teeth. It’s too horrid to explain and describe, and I deeply wish that with what I taught her, she would soon have good decent teeth, and so that she could smile properly. I also wanted to just explde and tell her mom to take more responsibility for her daughter, but I do not have any right to do that. I’m actually considered an outsider in their classroom’s world. I am not yet her teacher, and I’m not a dentist. Annica and I hardly talk but I often smile at her whenever she would look at me with those beautiful brown eyes.

On a lighter note, seeing that I can actually teach children how to brush theor teeth made me quite contented with the path I took. I mean, taking up education is slowly changing me: I used to hate children and their noise and illogical methods of thinking, but now, I appreciate them more than ever. In fact, I look forward in my visits to their classroom. I get so many hugs and I get to listen to their funny and simple stories that would just take away all my problems.

Now that I think about it, the reason why I am enjoying being with kids is because I’m the one who needs comfort and help. My one and only confidant is so busy that I can’t tell anything to him, my other friends are also too busy with their lives and own problems that I tend to bottle it all up. Being with children saved me. I owe them too much, and hopefully, I truly get to teach them once I graduate.

2011
01/20
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